Art, Science, Toddlers and Sleep.

It has been more than a year since I had AC. More than a year of having two kids.

I had been a mom of one for six years before my girl came. I think I have raised a well-mannered, healthy, smart boy.

But nothing prepares you 100% for another new child.

The drills I have concocted on JG when he was a baby did not all work with AC. I had to find other ways to make her stop from doing something short of a disaster, make her sit on the car seat without any fuss and, yes, make her sleep.

It has been a year of theories, experiments, success and failures.

While I am no expert mom (again I only have two), I hope to share some of the ways I found to be effective in making my babies, actually toddlers, sleep... so the Mom can sleep well, too.

The Science of Pattern. This other moms swear by. And it has been effective on my two kids. Babies need to understand that there is a time for everything and having a pattern signals when the next activity is coming up. If you give him/her a bath or read a book before s/he sleeps, repeat that every night at about the same time leading to that quiet hour when they need to close their eyes.

Now, the tricky part is to deal with how your kid reacts to the signal for sleeping. My JG took it as it was - a segue to sleeping time. AC dreaded it.

The Art of Isolation. It is indeed challenging to have their playmate be in the same room while it is sleeping time. By playmate, I refer to their Dad. The sight of Mr. Mascot/Clown/Magician does excite these little creatures so the dad really needs to get into the program.

Again, JG with one stern look managed to simmer himself down. AC, on the other hand, does not back down while her father is within reach.

I have managed to be in control by putting the daddy (and AC's bro) to sleep first - which he, of course, welcomed wholeheartedly. Further to that and even if I love the feel of our bed, I have moved to the sofa bed with AC so she has no distractions but me. I missed my bed but I love my sleep more.

The Science of the Expensive Diaper. This worked for both kids. I am a cheapskate so I stock on cheap diapers used for the day and then stock on the expensive 12-hour dry feeling ones for the nighttime sleep.

Weighing the pros and cons of the expensive diaper was an easy one since as you may have realized by now, I value my sleep more than a pair of diamond earrings. So netting it all off, I think I have gained.

The Art of Suggestive Selling. This goes hand in hand with setting a pattern. And has worked with my little girl. She, as with other tots, always wants to have a bottle before sleeping. A few hours before bedtime, I bombard her with our codename for bottle - "didi". She laughs, I say "Didi?". She shouts, I say "Didi?". She dances, I say "Didi?". And then finally, she gives in and says, "Didi?". Sold.

The Art of Pretending. Worked well on both of them. I wanted my kids to sleep, my kids wanted me to play with them. It's all mind games - whoever is stronger in mind, wins. Of course, there were days when I was tired from office work and I just wanted to be still. These are the best times to pretend - pretend that I am asleep. Eyes should be super shut because of the serious eye poking attempts.

And because I have the stronger mind (and eyelids), the little critters just give up. And sleep. 

The Art and Science of Letting Go. If all else fails - where my cognitive and physiological strength cannot handle things anymore (we have our days), either I go ahead and sleep, or I do a bit of drama. With both kids, it has never failed, the Daddy wakes up and intervenes.

Peace and quiet.

This is how I am surviving two kids of different sleeping personalities.

The Milk Challenge.

I came across this facebook page recently -- Breast milk is best, but only if you have breast milk. And after reading through the information, I felt that I had to write something about my experience.

This is for the mothers who painfully and wholeheartedly tried but decided that motherhood is not based on another one's facebook page.

With JG, my firstborn, I was not able to successfully breastfeed him exclusively. No one guided me or perhaps I was just not into it so for one year, I mixed feed him with both my milk and formula.

Before AC was born, I was very determined to breastfeed. I thought I know better, I was more prepared. There are more ways to ensure successful breastfeeding and more support nowadays. We have websites, blogs, facebook pages and lactation consultants. Armed with all these, I purchased the best pump in town and all the other things necessary for successful breastfeeding.

I gave birth in a hospital that is a 100% advocate of breastfeeding. Newborns are roomed in... the babies are actually beside their moms straight from the tummy regardless of how they came into this world -- normal or caesarian.

AC's first two days were promising... not a single drop of formula. During our third day in the hospital, she did not stop crying... I offered my breast, she would latch but got irritated after a few minutes. I kept on asking for the nurse's help but she repeatedly said that my baby just needed a few drops of my milk -- she was fine. After 4 requests and one mad and desperate face, she pushed that I be quickly visited by the resident pediatrician. Two residents came and examined AC. They quickly observed me while breastfeeding and said that it was all about positioning. I resigned to the doctors' advice and adjusted more despite the painful stitches on my tummy.

The following day, our last in the hospital, we realised that AC did not pee nor poop for almost a day. Thank God for her pediatrician. She spent time to observe, examined AC then decided that we should supplement. Before leaving she was given 10ml of supplement... she slept so peacefully for a good 3 hours. Imagine - AC was starving the whole time.

For one month, I strove to feed AC exclusively. I had to supplement once in a while because I just cannot keep up. My supply did grow but not as much as she needed so my days were filled with just feeding and feeding and feeding. 

And then after a month, I decided to give in. I decided to give her a bottle of formula. Why? Because my JG also needed me and my sanity was on the line. 

From then on, i gave her both my milk and formula. I felt a better me. 

AC is almost one and still latches every night. I think we are down to just a few drops of my milk now but she is still fond of me. And yes, so is my 7 year old son.

I salute all mothers who exclusively breastfeed. They have done very well.

But I don't think I am less of a Mom for not being able to do so. And this everyone should openly see and celebrate as well. I felt extremely guilty - not being able to exclusively give the best milk for my baby because they always say, almost all women can do this. And then, I quickly realised that it is not about the milk we give, it is about being a mother and doing a good job as one. 

There are a lot of pressures that mothers need to go through. All the advice and information available are there for us, ONLY as a guide to be the best. At the end of the day, one should just listen to her heart (and to her kids).. that is what it's all about. 

I am a Mom. I am trying my best. And that's enough.

Two Kids. Several Roles.

I know that having two kids is difficult. But I never thought it would be THAT difficult.

It is really literally juggling different roles on a daily basis. I am not only a Mom, I am also a:

• wife
• a boss at work
• a subordinate at work
• a colleague at work
• a chief operating officer at home
• a teacher to my 7 year old

Let us not forget that I, too, am a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, an in-law. Thankfully, those roles do not take much of my time but, of course, I need to be where I should be when necessary.

And then there is myself. I do need to do a cameo regularly, don't I?

Oh, I do not want to be glorified for my superhuman-ness. I really have no time for that. They say it is a choice I made so most definitely I have to swallow the consequences of it - and yes fully aware of that. But sometimes, whenever I am in my most sacred alone time (short but sweet nowadays), I do think why things have come to this. Not my choices, but the fact that there needs to be choices between home and non-home stuff.

And that is a bigger question that I do not think will have enough answers. So I carry on as usual and look forward to the time when things get easier - I am sure they will.

Welcome Back, Mommy!

It was as if the virus was waiting for me to come back.

I arrived from China with my two boys picking me up at the airport.  We were all excited to see each other and had fun telling/listening to stories.

You know me, by now... fearful of airplane rides.  The weather did not help so I experienced the longest runway approach of my flying life... around 30-45 minutes of circling around until touchdown.  By the time, I saw my boys, I was having a bad headache because of airplane ride stress.

So, I was extremely yearning for a good night sleep when suddenly the little boy asked for the blanket... quite surprising since he loves the air-conditioning.  A few minutes later he started to have chills.  And then, temperature shot up to the 39s.

After two sleepless nights, he got better, thank God.  He is actually playing with my pasalubong as I speak.

How did we survive?  A little bit of my Mom and Dad's tricks, a compilation of the doctor's instructions from way back and some inputs from the ever reliable Google. (These have worked for me and my kid but each child is different so better to always keep the pediatrician informed.)

• Temperature check is very important.  Whenever it goes up to 38.8 and above, I check it every 15 minutes.  The ear thermometer is not so reliable but it is the quickest way to make the check and it will not disturb the patient that much.
• Fluids indeed help.  It is actually the cheapest medicine.  To make things a bit more fun for the sick kid, the powdered juice would be the best alternative to water.  If there is no sore throat, it helps to keep the water/juice a bit cold.  Use a colorful straw -- they would appreciate not giving too much effort when drinking.
• Throwing up is not really bad.  It is even one way to lower the fever.  If the kid wants to throw up, welcome it (even if it means having to change the sheets).  Better if you have a bowl or mini "palanggana" ready to catch the mess.
• Calpol tastes better than other paracetamol syrups.  My kid hated medicines for the longest time but he can tolerate Calpol.  Hallelujah!
• Never bundle up when fever is high.  The idea of overdressing a sick kid is passé.  It will just make the temperature go even higher.
• Based on experience, fever usually peaks at night.  Be prepared not to sleep.  Paracetamol does not work sometimes... so thanks to the ancient way of "punas" (read: washcloth treatment).  Cloth should not be too wet and not too cold.  The vinegar mixture is still reliable.  But I read in some internet materials never to use the alcohol as it can cause shock.
• Aim for the kid to have the longest uninterrupted sleep.  It has proven to make wonders for my kid every time he is sick.  Whenever he goes beyond the 6-hour borderline, he gets better the next day.  
• Lastly, the moms should take multivitamins.  Sleepless nights can really make you vulnerable to the circulating virus.  The next thing you know, you are the new patient.

So yes, I am starting to rest and enjoy my return only now.  Thank goodness for the holiday, else I would be a walking zombie in the office.

I am not complaining at all.  It's part of being a Mommy.  And I am lucky to have an appreciative kid.  Aside from the constant Thank Yous, the best compliment of the weekend was -- "Mommy, your punas is very, very good."

The Best Role in the World.

Back then, I could not understand a lot of things about mothers.  I must confess that at certain points, I took my Mom for granted and just accepted that Moms are really a part of one's life... just that.


And then, I became a Mom.  It is true, they say, that when you become a Mother yourself, the real appreciation for your Mom and other Mothers dawns into you.


Carrying a baby for nine months is no joke.  The whole gamut of hormones plus the added weight plus the stretch marks plus the lab visits can get the best of you.  Add the pressures of your daily life while all these things are going on.  It can indeed be a recipe for disaster.


And it does not end there.


Moms need to endure hours of labor to get a precious baby out into the world.  Epidural, while it helps, never really lives up to its painless pitch.  After the anesthesia wears out, moms are left to feel the real pain of childbirth.


Once the baby is out, Moms are in for the longest roller coaster ride of their lives.  And no, you can't back out... even if you are tired from the hours of labor, even if the wounds are painful... because a baby cannot wait.  There is no excuse.


This is the theme for the rest of our lives.


When the child is sick or hurting, when the child needs help in their homework, when the child wants to be the best soccer player or the best pianist or the class valedictorian and when things go wrong.. we, Moms, need to be there.. because the true meaning of being a mother is not bearing a child but giving and molding a life.


The challenge now is to find ways to be raise good children, run the household, be good wives without losing ourselves along the way.


It has been four years.  I am both happy and scared.  Happy because I have a wonderful son and scared because I have a long way to go.  I must do a good job.


For Mommy and all the mommies in the world, Happy Mother's Day!  Congratulations to the world -- it is so lucky to have us.

Cleaning Up.

It's summer and I have a gazillion things to do in my list.  I do not feel that I have finished even half of it considering that it will be May soon.  May means summer is half done already.


I am, however, proud of one thing.  I cleaned up the house last Holy Week.  I must admit, though, that this is not really a big feat.  We just moved in September last year so the clutter has not accumulated in an alarming level yet.


First major target was my dresser.  It was a dresser, a filing cabinet, a laundry basket and a toy cabinet.  After an hour and a half of whisking away everything, see what's left...
It still looks the same after 3 weeks.  Hooray!


Next was the computer table / my nightside table.  It was a receiving tray, a toy cabinet, sometimes a laundry basket, other times a cellphone charging station.  After an hour of organizing and removing stuff, the table looked pristine.
At this moment (as I am writing this entry), the table is turning into a toy cabinet but the little boy now understands that the air-conditioning will be turned off if he will not  endeavor to keep his toys before sleeping.


Last clean up project was the family area.  This is where my two boys (hubby and the little one) break lose so imagine how "clean" it gets.  The major hurdle is how to control and keep the many, many toys that my little boy has collected.  For that, I searched for the best toy storage and found this at the True Value in the Powerplant.
I find it pricey at Php3,995 but it looks sturdy.  It would probably last several years.  Apart from that, the storage is very convenient for kids... it encourages fixing time after playing time.


Here's the storage complete with my son's toys.
So now, our house is cleaner than it used to be.  It has been 3 weeks and still no dramatic change.  I am giving myself a pat in the back for a job well done... so far.

New Playground.

There's a new landmark in town.  It's called High Street South.

We all know High Street by now, the open air mall at the heart of the Global City.  They added a new block that will let you walk further south.  The shops, they say, would be more high end.

As of now, only restaurants are opened... shops not yet.  But the open area is now available to the public... especially to the the kids.  They have a new playground that could get them very wet.

Amusing for the kids.

Not too fun for the yayas, unfortunately.

My little boy was too wet for a picture.  I did not even attempt to take a shot.  Good thing, his nanny was a girl scout... ever so ready for splash fun times like this.

Makes Sense.

My little boy is about to turn 4 soon.  I must agree with what others say that this the funniest stage.  Kids express themselves without care and somehow understand what grown ups tell them.

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I am beginning to teach him how to deal with strangers.  Our very first conversation about it went this way...

Me:  If a grown up you do not know goes near you and gives you candy, what will you say to him/her?

Little boy:  Happy Halloween!!!

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Hubby just arrived from the office and was trying to relax.  Without expecting anything, he threw out a question to the little boy.

Hubby:  If you can change anything in this world, what would that be?

Little Boy:  I am going to change diaper!

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The little boy was in his rowdy mode while I was having a not-so-good day.

Me:  Hey, please behave.  Mommy is not feeling well.

Little Boy:  Wait, Mommy, I will just go down.

I was relieved because that meant some time for myself.  After a few seconds, he entered the bedroom bringing something.

Little Boy:  Here, Mommy, you drink Calpol.  This will make you feel better.  Now, let's play trains.

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One sunny afternoon, we were about to go to the playground.

Little Boy:  Mommy, is it hot outside?

Me:  Yeah, I think so.

Little Boy:  I am going to wear my sunglasses.

Mommy Diaries.

Last week, I received this email from my officemate, Thirdy.

From Digicam Shots

It was an invitation to an expo.

From Digicam Shots

It has been a while since I last attended one so I convinced hubby to pay this a visit.

Entrance was only Php50.  It was not only a ticket to the expo.  I also had a chance to win a raffle prize (but I didn't win).

From Iphone loads

I got freebies, too -- a magazine, PH Care (yahoo!), feminine wipes samples, Myra Hand & Body Lotion samples.

From Iphone loads

I had no plans on buying anything but hubby did.  Our first purchase was a 12-roll tissue pack for Php85 from Saizen.

From Iphone loads

Some things that caught my eye...


Apple Brand cleaners...

From Iphone loads

In particular, the blue spray can in the middle.

It's a BAG protector.  Price was around Php1,200 (if I remember correctly).  The Scotch Guard was around Php800 so I decided to pass.

From Iphone loads

Next was the Pink Solution soap.  It's an organic soap so it will not harm the environment.  Plus, it was marketed to us by the seller as "matipid" (read: economical) because you can make a 1L solution from the small amount of the paste.  The cost was around Php900 with the expo discount.

From Iphone loads

The marketing was effective so I bought it.  (I will be writing my review of the product next week).

Avent products had discounts up to 50%.  The bottle nipples were bargains so I bought four --- yes, my 3yr old still drinks milk from the bottle!

Last was the platform shoes that I will writing about next.

We did not have a lot of time to attend the seminars about mommy-ness and parenting but it was a fun activity for hubby and me.  I would be happy to do a repeat of this.  

The organizer has another expo coming up and it would be something to my delight.  I think it will be called...

I'm SHOE in Love... :)


 

Milk, first and foremost.

One important lesson I learned when traveling with a 2 year old is "Milk is the most important item to carry"... aside from your passports and tickets, of course.

We thought that one can should be enough and went a little overboard with the additional 700 gram pack as our just in case.

WRONG.

Jet lag does not only affect one's sleeping schedule. It affects the whole biological clock including FEEDING time.

This plus my little boy is so Filipino when it comes to the food he eats that he struggles with American food = more milk to consume.

A trip to the Oriental store did not solve the case. We had the same brand but not the exact formula, ergo, not the same taste. That's $13 down the drain and the thought of having to go through the rest of the trip with a crying terrible two...

I had to save up all the milk in the can by reducing his milk sessions by 1oz and the powder I put is 0.5 scoop less.

Still not enough though.

To make the long story short, we had to ask one of the PAL pilots (thanks to my Mom's connections and to Jon for bringing the milk to us) to carry a box of Nido Jr to the United States. That's free express delivery for you.



Super less stress from then on.

You must never underestimate things when you have 2 year old.